Conspiracy Facts

by Fat Randy

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Stocking-stuffer! Just in time for Christmas!

*~Millennials for Ted Cruz Unite~*


released April 22, 2016

Stephen Friedland - Guitar (1, 2, 3), Bass (3), Vocals (2), Synth (3)
Steve Kolakowski - Bass (1, 2), Guitar (3), Vocals (2, 3), Didgeridoo (1)
Connor Lucey - Drums

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Blind Moose in Bloomfield, CT with Fat Randy.

Special thanks to Mac Glenn (the muse).

Double special thanks to Sean Connery and Futurama.

In memory of Christopher Gardner



all rights reserved


Fat Randy Mansfield, Connecticut

Connecticut's worst band

Connecticut's best Hoobastank tribute band

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Track Name: Lizard People
Donald Memesfeld, to You
It's always a Donald
Track Name: Super Best Greatest Day Ever
Puttin’ on pants 'cause we’re goin’ grocery shoppin’
(Lady’s gettin' sick of my leechin’, pantry hoppin’)
Puttin’ on pants ‘cause we’re goin’ grocery shoppin’
My juicer needs juice

Puttin’ on pants ‘cause we’re goin’ grocery shoppin’
(Milkshakes every day ‘cause I don’t need my body)
Puttin’ on pants cause we’re gonna go do shit
Size 36 ain’t loose

Our hero sits, pensive and vaguely conflicted
Worn, loose clothing surrounds him
The shamelessly wafting, stale smell of semen, like it wants to know that you know it knows
And the existential presidential Republican debate called his thoughts resounds like nothing heard before today
It’s a brand new day, and what will he do?
Why, it’s 10 AM and the whole world is in his hands! *hoo hoo*

Deontology for the good of mankind
The man (My man)
Duty (Do you)
Follow the mores, so children don’t have nightmares
For them (Fuck them)
Jail time (Me time)

Donald shat the bed time and time again
I'm learning this at school

I take philosophy cause I don’t have career ambitions

And today’s gonna be just great